DELETE...
My husband is a CPA, but I've done our taxes since we've been married. With my background in accounting and finance, I also have the aptitude for a simple tax return. Nowadays, with tax software, it's pretty easy to figure out all the tricks.
I set aside several hours today to begin our taxes for 2013. As I began the return, I imported last year's data, and began the process of verifying last year's information and verifying accuracy. One of the first screens made me miss a beat...took a little extra breath, sighed, paused, and proceeded. I have three children. For 14 years, I've had three dependents. This year...I had to delete one. I now only have 2 dependents.
My oldest son got married last May. I love his wife. I'm proud of him and his choices. So why did it hurt to delete him as a dependent? It's a good thing right? I mean, I lose the exemption, but I also don't pay his tuition, room or board. All this led me to another reflection...
When I got married, my mother wasn't very happy with me. She loved Doug, whole-heartedly approved of our engagement...until he transferred to UMass Boston from Brigham Young University a few months before we got married. We would be living near his family. She took it personally. I was moving away from her. Emotions make everything complicated. It's a battle....to see through the emotions and get to the other side, the side that this blog is all about. The Sweet Fringe Benefit side.
I'm really hoping I don't offend anyone here...but one more thought. Last week, when my husband and I were on vacation, we did a lot of people watching. One group of folks that caught our eye was a party of three that we noticed eating together, walking around the resort together, and even on our same flight off the island together. Turns out, the party of three was a mother, father and their adult son. Now, if I had to guess how old this son was, I would say mid-30's. The parents were most likely mid-60's. The more we watched them, the more apparent how NOT independent the son was.
I think you can figure out where I'm going here for today's Sweet Fringe Benefit. I've mentioned before, I am so "good" with my son being married. But it doesn't mean I won't on occasion long for him just to be "my" son. It has nothing to do with approving, liking or supporting, and everything to do with missing, longing and reflecting. But there's something about death and taxes that are black and white. And permanent. And I really don't want to be bringing him on vacation with Doug and I in 10 years...unless his wife and my grandchildren come along! So yes, bummer I had to "delete" my son, but a sfb that he is independent and his own exemption on his own return!
My blogging is real, it's honest. I try to express sometimes raw feelings in order to get to the other side...the sweet fringe benefit side. The process is emotionally healthy for me, and I hope it's helpful for you. Or at least entertaining...
Outfit of the Day: Banana Republic pink jacquard Camden fit pants, Loft black/cream/lace t-shirt, Loft black cardigan, black/gold statement necklace, Vince Camuto Black peeptoe shooties.
Thanks Laura for the heads up on the JCrew Factory Outlet 50% off sale this weekend. I will be checking that out!
Wow...who would've figured an sfb would come from preparing taxes...
Nanette
I set aside several hours today to begin our taxes for 2013. As I began the return, I imported last year's data, and began the process of verifying last year's information and verifying accuracy. One of the first screens made me miss a beat...took a little extra breath, sighed, paused, and proceeded. I have three children. For 14 years, I've had three dependents. This year...I had to delete one. I now only have 2 dependents.
My oldest son got married last May. I love his wife. I'm proud of him and his choices. So why did it hurt to delete him as a dependent? It's a good thing right? I mean, I lose the exemption, but I also don't pay his tuition, room or board. All this led me to another reflection...
When I got married, my mother wasn't very happy with me. She loved Doug, whole-heartedly approved of our engagement...until he transferred to UMass Boston from Brigham Young University a few months before we got married. We would be living near his family. She took it personally. I was moving away from her. Emotions make everything complicated. It's a battle....to see through the emotions and get to the other side, the side that this blog is all about. The Sweet Fringe Benefit side.
I'm really hoping I don't offend anyone here...but one more thought. Last week, when my husband and I were on vacation, we did a lot of people watching. One group of folks that caught our eye was a party of three that we noticed eating together, walking around the resort together, and even on our same flight off the island together. Turns out, the party of three was a mother, father and their adult son. Now, if I had to guess how old this son was, I would say mid-30's. The parents were most likely mid-60's. The more we watched them, the more apparent how NOT independent the son was.
I think you can figure out where I'm going here for today's Sweet Fringe Benefit. I've mentioned before, I am so "good" with my son being married. But it doesn't mean I won't on occasion long for him just to be "my" son. It has nothing to do with approving, liking or supporting, and everything to do with missing, longing and reflecting. But there's something about death and taxes that are black and white. And permanent. And I really don't want to be bringing him on vacation with Doug and I in 10 years...unless his wife and my grandchildren come along! So yes, bummer I had to "delete" my son, but a sfb that he is independent and his own exemption on his own return!
Outfit of the Day: Banana Republic pink jacquard Camden fit pants, Loft black/cream/lace t-shirt, Loft black cardigan, black/gold statement necklace, Vince Camuto Black peeptoe shooties.
Thanks Laura for the heads up on the JCrew Factory Outlet 50% off sale this weekend. I will be checking that out!
Wow...who would've figured an sfb would come from preparing taxes...
Nanette
I like this post! such poignant feelings. You and Doug did an excellent job of raising independent children that they can make the greatest choices of their lives!
ReplyDeletebravo to you and doug!