Change and Control...

 

Hi!

Thanks for your positive responses to me jumping back in!  It's been fun reconnecting, laughing at myself, and hearing from you.

So where are we going here?  I really don't know.  Let's figure it out!  

Six and half years ago, I thought I had this aging thing figured out.  Now, the only thing I've figured out is that I don't have control of anyone or anything but myself, and change comes whether you want it or not.  As I turned 50, I THINK I thought my body would just age, my kids would leave the nest but stay the same, and Doug and I would have a constant date night full of bliss and connection.  Ok, sooooooo, ya that didn't happen.  I mean, there's bliss and connection...but with a lot of complicated emotions in-between.

My oldest son graduated college, moved to my same state, had 2 beautiful children, changed jobs, then moved away from me, had another child...and he didn't ask my permission or opinion.  My second son met a girl, got married, moved 3x, changed jobs 2x, and he didn't ask my permission either.  My daughter grew up.  Left the nest, and returned.  She didn't ask either.

AND THATS EXACTLY HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.  Our children, my children, your children, are their own individuals.  Their own spirits sent here from heaven.  We are given the charge to raise them, teach them, provide for and protect them.  But only for a time. We don't own them.  It makes for a lot of complicated emotions trying to separate the "shoulds" and "how-to manuals" that we write for them from the pure LOVE that we have for them.  

Today's, and everyday's, Sweet Fringe Benefit (SFB) is change, and the opportunities is provides.  Change around me has given me the chance to change myself!  To change my internal beliefs.  To understand how to love deeper.  Purer.  That everyone is deserving of love because they are.  Because I am.   Not for anything I've done or you've done.  This change has helped me have a purer love for my children.  And see them as the beautiful, kind, inspiring people that they are.  Not for anything that they have done.  But because of who they are.  This SFB, is a work in progress.  But I believe is a key piece to finding happiness as we age.  We are all worthy of love.

At some point, we have to process and understand where we've been and experienced to understand where we are going.  There's lots of great resources out there.  Life coaches, therapy, thought models, podcasts, online courses.  Don't be satisfied with where you are.  Change comes.  How are you going to respond?

Well, speaking of change...

I made a pretty bold one.  

See the built-in fireplace/bookshelf?  Well, I decided to paint it.  I love the way it turned out!

The color is Sherwin Williams Iron Ore.  Truth be told, I'd like to rip the entire thing out.  Have a majestic fireplace, hearth and mantel built instead.  But then there's that issue of money.  And how we choose to spend it.  Allocation of resources.  So, paint it is.  And I'm pretty happy with it.

Ok.  And last thing, today's OOTD.  Target Who What Wear Sweater, Loft Blouse, Target Universal Thread Corduroys, Dolce Vita Huey Boots. I met a friend for lunch today for her birthday.  Nice excuse to wear more than Covid-Athleisure.

Nanette