Can you go home again?

My sons are two-and-a-half years apart.  Three years apart in school and life experiences.

I mentioned yesterday that we spent the weekend in Charlotte at a wedding.  The five of us drove over together.  This is just one event of many that my son Harrison has missed while serving a mission in Brazil for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  He's been gone for almost a year.  He missed the Rockette's Christmas show.  He missed Grampa's 89th birthday.  He's missed weddings, birthdays and holidays.  He's missed Sunday brunch on the back porch and a family wiffle ball game.  I don't begrudge it.  I'm just stating the facts.  For my son, it's a mission for my church.  Maybe in your family it's a military commitment, or school, or adulthood that has created the absence from your family events.

June 2011

Children grow up.  Leave home.  Become independent.  Some visit.  Some move home.  Some live nearby.  Some live across the country.  One thing is certain...in my family and every family I know...there will always be dinners, vacations, birthdays and weddings where someone from the family is missing.  I know we will also have dinners, vacations, birthdays and weddings where we ARE altogether.  I wonder if I will always feel the emptiness of a missing child from any one of those events.  I hope not.  It just gets painfully exhausting after a while.

It was a short three years ago that I had the same feelings about my oldest son's absence.  He missed plenty of dinners, vacations, reunions and birthdays.  He missed my parent's 65th wedding anniversary party, as well as my in-law's 50th wedding anniversary celebration in Disney World.  He missed Harrison's high school graduation, my 25th wedding anniversary, and my daughter becoming a teenager.

June 2012

When he returned, as I know when Harrison will return, home wasn't the same.  We were all different.  He was older and changed by 2 years of life experiences.  We had changed as well.  The saying that "you can't go home again," well, it just isn't true.  My children will always be welcome at home...just as my parents always welcome me home.  But it won't be the same as it was.  I can cook old recipes, play familiar games, watch favorite movies.  But it's never the same as it was.

I just needed to work through this today.  A year is a LONG time.  And two years is even longer.  (stating the obvious, I know)  I've rehashed the sfb's of my sons serving missions before.  The benefits and blessings of their mission service come back 10 fold.  But today's Sweet Fringe Benefit is love.  When family is reunited, no matter the changes that have occurred in individuals, the love endures.  And that's what bonds us.  Yes, we need time together.  And we will get that.  We will take a week away to get reacquainted and create new memories.  But our love for each other will still be there.  I'm confident it will be enough to reunite us as a family.  

Outfit of the Day:  JCrew Factory pink/white/coral print blouse, JCrew Factory mint shorts, Emaack Designs statement necklace,  Relativity canvas/leather wedges.









My table came out great.  I actually need to add a layer of wax tomorrow morning, but it's almost finished. It brightens my kitchen.  So glad I finally did it!

I don't know how often my sweet family will be together in it's entirety.  I think that's something that stresses me out quite a bit.  As everyone gets older and develops their own lives and commitments, time together will be less and less.  Three years ago, as my oldest son missed event after event, I never envisioned him visiting multiple weekends with his darling pregnant wife this summer.  I'm looking forward to the unexpected family get-togethers that will happen two or three years from now.  This is my hope...

Nanette