Family is backwards and forwards...
I don't know what picture pops in to your head when you think of a family. I guess I picture a Mom, Dad and small children. But family means so much more. Family is backwards and forwards. Up the family tree and down the family tree. And I'm a little embarrassed that it took until I was 49 years old to realize this.
My nuclear family means everything to me. My husband, my three children, my son's wife, and my grandbaby in the womb. But I think I never really thought of my siblings and parents as a "nuclear" family. When I was 2 years old, my oldest brother left for college. When I was 7, my little brother was born. My sisters-in-laws felt more like Aunts than sisters. By the time I was 9 years old, my four oldest siblings were adults. The old family folklore mostly happened before I can remember. I'm not saying that I didn't love my siblings. It just wasn't the picture of family all living under one roof.
On my mother's birthday, I have never felt more connected, more like a family than working in the garden side by side with my siblings as I did that day. And it wasn't dirt, or hard work or a purpose that united us. It was the love for our mother. We all adore her. We admire her. We honor her for her sacrifices on our behalf. Our love for our mother helped me see us as a family.
I know being one of the babies in the family, I've been too self-absorbed, too "all about me" and my own nuclear family. Too many of our family reunions were spent boo-hooing because I didn't get to spend time with just my husband and kids. Jeez...I really blew it.
Today's Sweet Fringe Benefits are my siblings and their patience and acceptance of me. One of the nasties of being 49 is realizing mistakes I've made in the past. Opportunities missed. But I've realized that my siblings have seemed to allow me to grow up...and accept my youthful selfishness. We are unique, each one of us. But we all have a piece of our mother's strength and compassion.
Outfit of the Day: I tried the palazzo pants again today. I like how I wore them better this week than last. Mossimo print palazzo pants, Loft mushroom t-shirt, Loft beige with blush lace accents sweater, Emaack Designs petrified wood necklace, wide linen/leather belt.
If you include just my side (not my husband's) of the family, it now numbers over 70 people. And my mother and father stand at the head. How blessed I am to be a part of it...
Nanette
My nuclear family means everything to me. My husband, my three children, my son's wife, and my grandbaby in the womb. But I think I never really thought of my siblings and parents as a "nuclear" family. When I was 2 years old, my oldest brother left for college. When I was 7, my little brother was born. My sisters-in-laws felt more like Aunts than sisters. By the time I was 9 years old, my four oldest siblings were adults. The old family folklore mostly happened before I can remember. I'm not saying that I didn't love my siblings. It just wasn't the picture of family all living under one roof. On my mother's birthday, I have never felt more connected, more like a family than working in the garden side by side with my siblings as I did that day. And it wasn't dirt, or hard work or a purpose that united us. It was the love for our mother. We all adore her. We admire her. We honor her for her sacrifices on our behalf. Our love for our mother helped me see us as a family.
I know being one of the babies in the family, I've been too self-absorbed, too "all about me" and my own nuclear family. Too many of our family reunions were spent boo-hooing because I didn't get to spend time with just my husband and kids. Jeez...I really blew it.
Today's Sweet Fringe Benefits are my siblings and their patience and acceptance of me. One of the nasties of being 49 is realizing mistakes I've made in the past. Opportunities missed. But I've realized that my siblings have seemed to allow me to grow up...and accept my youthful selfishness. We are unique, each one of us. But we all have a piece of our mother's strength and compassion.
If you include just my side (not my husband's) of the family, it now numbers over 70 people. And my mother and father stand at the head. How blessed I am to be a part of it...
Nanette
So beautifully written about our mom--thank you I will treasure this. And you're not selfish or self-centered! Thank you Nanette for this lovely loving tribute to mom and our family!
ReplyDeleteFamily is a lot about shared values. I was 5 years younger than Tom. And I am 9 years younger than Bob. Bob left home as I entered 5th grade. Tom was off when I entered 8th. I lived through my Dad's illness..they were gone. My life was very different then theirs. Yet when we got together we shared so much. What our parents taught us. Our love of extended family taught to us from grandma and grandpa. I guess our love comes from what we were taught not just sitting around the dinner table.
ReplyDeleteYou are right Nina. We have such a wonderful legacy left to us from Grandma and Grandpa White. And I'm so grateful that you have shared your memories with us. It's so important to talk about those memories!
DeleteFamily is a lot about shared values. I was 5 years younger than Tom. And I am 9 years younger than Bob. Bob left home as I entered 5th grade. Tom was off when I entered 8th. I lived through my Dad's illness..they were gone. My life was very different then theirs. Yet when we got together we shared so much. What our parents taught us. Our love of extended family taught to us from grandma and grandpa. I guess our love comes from what we were taught not just sitting around the dinner table.
ReplyDelete