Share Your Stuff: Who Are You?

Share Your Stuff, I'll Go First: I am loving this book. I need my friends to buy this book so we can run, walk, or ride and chat about it for hours. I thought once in a while I’d “share my stuff” with you, and encourage the connectivity that we are all craving, whether you realize it or not. The author, Laura Tremaine, breaks down the sharing to 10 questions. Let's chat about the first.

“Who are you?”

In my aging journey, I’ve found a craving to know who I am. I mean, I know I am a daughter of God, which is beautiful. You are too. But what makes me, me?  And what can I change? What do I need to accept? So when the author asks these questions...

I dove in!  Here’s something that will help you know me, that will help you understand who I am.  It’s something my Dad said to me. 

“I don’t worry about you, you take good care of yourself.”

I can’t remember when he said it. I know it was when I was an adult. I’ve struggled with it?  But, I KNOW my dad loves me. And he meant it as a compliment. 

Who am I? Someone who has been proving my Dad’s statement right, and wanting it to be wrong, all at the same time. See, even though I know I can take GOOD care of myself; don’t we all want someone to take good care of us?  So it’s been an internal struggle between self-expectation, and disappointment when I’m not taken care of....because I tell everyone, "I can take good care of myself." Which honestly, just saying that brings understanding.

A cute BFF once said, “You know what our problem is? We’re just too damn capable.”  We’ve laughed about that for years. Yet as I’ve aged, letting down that front of taking good care of myself has allowed deeper connection with my husband, my friends and my family. I’m working on it. Letting down my guard and allowing for deeper understanding is my Sweet Fringe Benefit today.  Wish I wasn't so thick skinned when I was in my 30s.

Whew.  

Buy the book. Start reading. Start talking. It’s been a great conversation starter with my husband too. 

We've had a year of zoom, FaceTime and no time. A therapist friend explained the havoc that masks have wreaked to our interpersonal connections; covering our non-verbal communication centers on our face. We need to know each other better. Deeper.  And when we do, I think we grow to understand ourselves even more. To normalize struggles, no matter how insignificant, brings us together. I am not alone. You are not alone.

The book is full of lots of little stories and experiences that somehow I've found identification with many of them. I especially love the author’s reference to pulling her hair out, quite literally, and how normal it makes me feel about chewing my cheeks. (I'm doing it right now as I edit)

Ask the question of yourself.  I've gone first, now feel free to share your stuff!  Find a friend (old or new), a family member, and be courageous enough to tell a story.  When you do, it'll give them permission to share as well.

Nanette