I Gotta Go!

I wrote a post about becoming a grandmother.  Over six years ago (click here to read it).  Anyone who followed me back then knows it was uncomfortable and unknown territory for me.   Plus, I'm just going to say it out loud.  I was turning FIFTY.  My hormones were way out of whack.  My life was changing in front of me, seemingly out of control, and I felt like the control I had contrived and craved all my life was deteriorating quickly. This post, entitled "I'm a Netta", talked about a scene I witnessed in the airport.  Sweet little faces hollering up at the grandma from the security line at the airport, "I love you grandma!"  I stood there and wept.  Would my grandchildren love me like this?  Would they know me enough to love me?  What does this even look like in my life.

Fast forward.  My heart is so full sometimes I feel like it might burst.  My grandchildren arrived a few days ago.  I was on a work call, and all of a sudden, I heard frantic voices and footsteps, "Netta!! Netta!!"  I told my boss, "I gotta go!"  No explanation.  I just left the call.  

We spent the last several days on bike rides, park visits, playing basketball and baseball, "Pretty Pretty Princess", glueing, cutting, coloring and taping.  So much joy. 

While we were riding, my granddaughter said multiple times loud enough for me to hear, and then to herself, "I love Netta."

My grandson said, "Netta, why are you so fun?" 

Is it natural for grandchildren to love so hard?  I can't imagine it's just me.  Its a glorious institution.  I'm so grateful to be a part of it.

Six years ago, I was so worried that either my heart didn't have enough room for more to love, or my brain couldn't handle more to worry about.  I think that might have had something to do with my former control freak inside.  I look at my life right now, and of course, couldn't imagine it without these little ones.  I think of every friend, acquaintance and stranger that said, "grandchildren are the best."  They were right.  I've known it since the day the first one was born.  I need them more now than I ever have.  Of course, my grandchildren are my Sweet Fringe Benefit of being 56.  Not to mention, thank heavens, I'm only 56!  Because I need to keep up!

Some of you may already be grandparents, some of you are longing for the day to be a grandma, and some of you may feel like you're not ready.  Hey, here's the best advice I can give you.  Recognize you have no choice in the matter.  So live your life.  And when it comes, it'll be awesome.  Until then, be awesome anyway!

I gotta go! I'm being beckoned to come out to the bonfire.

Nanette