Help me! I've spiraled and I can't get up...
I may need to start posting to the blog on weekends. I spiraled pretty fast in just 2 days. It started right after I published my post Friday afternoon! I had such a great week last week and then WHAM. I'm not going to share too much...I do have some sense of privacy. But I will say that I can link my misery to three sources:
Hard...that seems to be the recurring phrase now that I review these bullet points. How silly. Do I really think that anything that happened this weekend was hard? Beginning to put it all back in to perspective. Truly today's sfb is Sweet Fringe Benefits...my blog. As I reflect on my attitude of the weekend, I feel childish. I feel ungrateful. I feel selfish. In response to my bullet points above:
How does this relate to being 49? Well, I guess if I hadn't started this blog about my stage of life, I wouldn't have seen in black and white how truly ridiculous my spiral was from the weekend. I'm not trying to minimize my feelings. I believe in being "real" remember? Friends that are in my same stage of life, do you ever think "When am I going to get over this?" Do you seem to hit the same bumps in life over and over again? What I love about being this age, is recognizing the bump, and knowing that I've gotten over it before, and I will again. Maybe there were hormones involved? I really HATE when hormones are used as an excuse for spirals or craziness. But I do think we need to go a little easy on ourselves because sometimes hormones make delicious buttered green beans in to something to cry about. Have I ever told you that story? Ugh, this is going to be a long post.
My Mother and Father arrived 2 days before I went in to labor with my second child. I had spent most of my pregnancy angry at my husband because he seemed to be sick in bed more than I was! (Poor Doug) I had contractions from about my fifth month on, I was chasing an overly active 2 year old (including dragging him out of the ball pit in McDonald's when I was 9 months pregnant), and to say I was miserable just is an understatement. I gained almost 50 pounds. My parents stayed with us for a month, becoming the primary caregivers to my 2 year old, leaving me to sleep and care for my sweet newborn that I was instantly in love with. Another side effect of giving birth... I was madly in love with my husband again. Like, I wanted to be by his side constantly. In addition to caring for my 2 year old, my parents shopped for and cooked dinner for weeks. One night, my mother fixed string beans with dinner. AND SHE PUT AT LEAST A TABLESPOON OF BUTTER ON THE TOP OF THE BEANS. This is the way my mother always fixed vegetables when I was growing up. I didn't fix them that way, and I especially didn't want that butter on the beans when even after giving birth I still had 40 pounds to lose. Right there at the dinner table, I burst in to tears. Again, I hate the hormone excuse. My tears were a hormonal "baby blues" response to a high calorie side dish. Hormones or no hormones...the beans were unhealthy and shouldn't have had butter on them.
Do you get it? Hormones can make our responses a bit more dramatic, but it doesn't mean what we are responding to is any less offensive.
Finally, on to the Outfit of the Day. On Monday's, I usually post what I wore to church on Sunday. Loft turquoise pencil skirt from clearance last year, Bisou Bisou black blouse (JC Penny), Loft Black Moto Sweater Vest (at least 5 years ago). Black Suede pumps. The "Moto" Jacket or sweater is very popular this year, but styles repeat themselves. I loved this sweater when I bought it...haven't worn it in a couple of years. I like the softness of the scoop neck blouse with the "hardness" of the biker style vest. I love the Loft pencil skirts. I like to wear my skirts about knee length. I'm only 5'3", so if I don't buy a petite, these skirts hit about mid-lower knee on me. Search their clearance racks...there are usually some there. I know the younger crowd that shops there probably goes more for the shorter skirts.
Simple Outfit of the Day for today: Mushroom pleather jacket (you are seeing this quite often), Loft grey peplum sweater, Loft cinnamon cords, Emaack Designs Mexican Opal Necklace. I love greys...charcoals, heathered, any type. Grey is a perfect neutral to pair with any color.
Feel free to share my blog on social media if it ever strikes a chord with how you are feeling. We should never be ashamed or regrettable about our age. There are Sweet Fringe Benefits that outweigh the nasty side effects. We will find them together...
Nanette
- I packed up and mailed my missionary son's Christmas packages. To know that he is so far removed from my life that a package mailed 6 weeks ahead of time may or may not arrive just does a number on my psyche. At some level, this happens every time I mail a package to him. It makes it very real that I haven't seen my son in 4 months, and won't see him for another 20. It's really hard to do.
- Marriage is hard. Even after 26 years.
- "For unto whomsover much is given, of him shall be much required:..." Luke 12:48 I believe this...and yet, the pressure...its hard. I believe that as a Christian I am to be an instrument in the Lord's hands. He cannot yet return to earth, so we must serve our fellow man as He would if He were here.
Hard...that seems to be the recurring phrase now that I review these bullet points. How silly. Do I really think that anything that happened this weekend was hard? Beginning to put it all back in to perspective. Truly today's sfb is Sweet Fringe Benefits...my blog. As I reflect on my attitude of the weekend, I feel childish. I feel ungrateful. I feel selfish. In response to my bullet points above:
- My missionary son is sacrificing 2 years of his life to serve the people of Brazil. To share a message of hope and peace that only comes from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He is healthy and happy.
- I need to look in the mirror.
- Hard? I have dear friends right in my community that have experienced "hard"... I will give what is required, and know that no matter what I give, I will still be an "unprofitable servant"... God's gift is endless, we can never serve enough to equal the Grace he has blessed us with.
How does this relate to being 49? Well, I guess if I hadn't started this blog about my stage of life, I wouldn't have seen in black and white how truly ridiculous my spiral was from the weekend. I'm not trying to minimize my feelings. I believe in being "real" remember? Friends that are in my same stage of life, do you ever think "When am I going to get over this?" Do you seem to hit the same bumps in life over and over again? What I love about being this age, is recognizing the bump, and knowing that I've gotten over it before, and I will again. Maybe there were hormones involved? I really HATE when hormones are used as an excuse for spirals or craziness. But I do think we need to go a little easy on ourselves because sometimes hormones make delicious buttered green beans in to something to cry about. Have I ever told you that story? Ugh, this is going to be a long post.
My Mother and Father arrived 2 days before I went in to labor with my second child. I had spent most of my pregnancy angry at my husband because he seemed to be sick in bed more than I was! (Poor Doug) I had contractions from about my fifth month on, I was chasing an overly active 2 year old (including dragging him out of the ball pit in McDonald's when I was 9 months pregnant), and to say I was miserable just is an understatement. I gained almost 50 pounds. My parents stayed with us for a month, becoming the primary caregivers to my 2 year old, leaving me to sleep and care for my sweet newborn that I was instantly in love with. Another side effect of giving birth... I was madly in love with my husband again. Like, I wanted to be by his side constantly. In addition to caring for my 2 year old, my parents shopped for and cooked dinner for weeks. One night, my mother fixed string beans with dinner. AND SHE PUT AT LEAST A TABLESPOON OF BUTTER ON THE TOP OF THE BEANS. This is the way my mother always fixed vegetables when I was growing up. I didn't fix them that way, and I especially didn't want that butter on the beans when even after giving birth I still had 40 pounds to lose. Right there at the dinner table, I burst in to tears. Again, I hate the hormone excuse. My tears were a hormonal "baby blues" response to a high calorie side dish. Hormones or no hormones...the beans were unhealthy and shouldn't have had butter on them.
Do you get it? Hormones can make our responses a bit more dramatic, but it doesn't mean what we are responding to is any less offensive.
Finally, on to the Outfit of the Day. On Monday's, I usually post what I wore to church on Sunday. Loft turquoise pencil skirt from clearance last year, Bisou Bisou black blouse (JC Penny), Loft Black Moto Sweater Vest (at least 5 years ago). Black Suede pumps. The "Moto" Jacket or sweater is very popular this year, but styles repeat themselves. I loved this sweater when I bought it...haven't worn it in a couple of years. I like the softness of the scoop neck blouse with the "hardness" of the biker style vest. I love the Loft pencil skirts. I like to wear my skirts about knee length. I'm only 5'3", so if I don't buy a petite, these skirts hit about mid-lower knee on me. Search their clearance racks...there are usually some there. I know the younger crowd that shops there probably goes more for the shorter skirts.
Simple Outfit of the Day for today: Mushroom pleather jacket (you are seeing this quite often), Loft grey peplum sweater, Loft cinnamon cords, Emaack Designs Mexican Opal Necklace. I love greys...charcoals, heathered, any type. Grey is a perfect neutral to pair with any color.
Feel free to share my blog on social media if it ever strikes a chord with how you are feeling. We should never be ashamed or regrettable about our age. There are Sweet Fringe Benefits that outweigh the nasty side effects. We will find them together...
Nanette
I have really loved reading your blogs, but this one brought tears to my eyes! Thank you so much for sharing, and for seeking the sweet benefits in the messiness of life! You're awesome!
ReplyDeleteIt's me again. Didn't realize until I posted that my email address would show up as David instead of Catherine. Dave really enjoys your blogs, too, but you don't have to worry that he's crying over them! Anyhow-- keep up the great work! -- Catherine
ReplyDeleteDave has always been a little emotional....but good to know it's you Catherine!
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