It's heating up...
If you can't handle the reality of a middle-aged woman...then you should probably stop reading right now and come back another day. I'm going to get in to some "nasties" today in an attempt to find my daily SFB. If you can't take the heat...get out of the kitchen.
So I've spent the past two days going through boxes of pictures looking for some old Easter photos to display in my corner cabinet. (For you young folk, boxes of pictures is the old version of iPhoto...where there are actually prints and negatives.) I love how it turned out...I finally made the changeover from Valentine's Day. Thank you to my good friend Kate who made me the moss-covered frame and vintage bunny print.
I am pleased with the end results...but my heart is heavy. I've been trying to figure out if it was prompted by all the photos of my little guys. This time, I just don't think it is! I think it's hormones! The hot flashes have been consistent lately. My functionality (as witnessed by yesterday's blog post about dinner) has been tortured. I've taken offense by comments that were made to me that weren't meant to offend (cryptic I know). My Mother of the Year medal should be taken away from me after my VERY one-sided conversation with my daughter. And as good as I should feel about how sweet my life is right now, I just don't. I think I'm having a "butter on the beans" moment (oh that's explained in a post from last fall, click here if you want to read it.)
So what do I do now?
The purpose of Sweet Fringe Benefits is to find the sweet side of getting older...the advantages, the benefits. That even though the nasties abound, there MUST be sweet fringe benefits to my age. And because I am having trouble seeing any of those sfb's, I began to search my blog trying to remind myself of a few. A couple of past sfb's particularly resonated with me today. If you'd like to read the entire post, just click on the title of the post in parathenses.
Never really thought my sons would be able to help me with my daughter's Teenagerisms. But they do. And today, and for the several years to come, that's a Sweet Fringe Benefit of being 49 years old. (Teenagerisms)
I'm confident about A LOT of things. Probably too many. And then, something comes out of the blue and knocks you off your feet, or lets the air out of your tire, and you realize you are NOT as prepared as you thought you were. Yesterday it was the bike repair. Other days it's coping with your children being adults. And other days it's hearing about a good friend who's dad has died. And realizing once again that this 49 year old age does bring some pretty nasty side effects. All I can do is find the sweet fringe benefits in this age...and try to be prepared for the nasties when they come. And when that preparation fails, I have family and friends that are more than willing to answer my "call of shame" if needed. (Call of Shame)
I'm glad I'm not an only child. I'm #6 out of 7. My "role" in the family has typically been the spoiled baby girl. I think my siblings think of me differently now after this experience. My folks came to stay with me not because I'm 49, but because of where I live. Not because I only have one child left at home, but because it's only 700 feet above sea level. Growing up and being a "contributor" to the family is my Sweet Fringe Benefit today. (Complicated Emotions)
I'm talking myself in to this sfb tonight. But I'm reminding myself that there have been many days and weeks like this in my 49 years. And I have survived them. Pipes thaw. Batteries are "jumped" and replaced. New plans are made. Children feel better. Building on my confidence of past experience, I can do this. (Any other good news?)
Today the Sweet Fringe Benefit of age 49 is my 14 year old daughter. She is real-life, refreshing, comforting and grounding to me. Caboose children have a tough lot. Their siblings leave them to reside alone with their parents. They don't have siblings around to attend all their games and concerts like they were dragged to. They don't have anyone to commiserate with about how unfair and irritating parents are. They go on vacations with "old people". And they become the absolute adoration and life of their parents. (The Caboose)
I am feeling more rational already. I am feeling more gratitude in this moment for the life that I am living.
Today's Sweet Fringe Benefit has several components...and it took reviewing many blog posts to get to it. I don't want my daughter to be an adult yet, I want her to be under my roof being a teenager, with everything that that involves. I have a close girlfriend that received somewhat of a "text of shame" to rescue me from my emotional despair. Not that reaching out for help is shameful...just keeping it in line with my biking analogy from my blog post a couple weeks ago. I LOVE having a compassionate adult son that reaches out to his Momma when he knows she's having a bad day. And, I know that LIFE HAPPENS. Some days are just junky...and if those days happen when hormone levels are elevated, then watch out. But, I can do this.
Outfit of the Day: Merona (Target Brand) gray/white seersucker blazer, Loft burgandy shell, JCrew Factory hot pink jeans, JCrew Factory Statement necklace.
I'm heading to bed feeling more reassured that I'm okay. I'm not crazy. There are Sweet Fringe Benefits that can even overrule a hormonal, irrational, and emotional 49 year old. (Although I still didn't make dinner tonight...unless you count peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fresh pineapple a meal.)
Nanette
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| Easter Sunday, 1995 |
So what do I do now?
The purpose of Sweet Fringe Benefits is to find the sweet side of getting older...the advantages, the benefits. That even though the nasties abound, there MUST be sweet fringe benefits to my age. And because I am having trouble seeing any of those sfb's, I began to search my blog trying to remind myself of a few. A couple of past sfb's particularly resonated with me today. If you'd like to read the entire post, just click on the title of the post in parathenses.
Never really thought my sons would be able to help me with my daughter's Teenagerisms. But they do. And today, and for the several years to come, that's a Sweet Fringe Benefit of being 49 years old. (Teenagerisms)
I'm confident about A LOT of things. Probably too many. And then, something comes out of the blue and knocks you off your feet, or lets the air out of your tire, and you realize you are NOT as prepared as you thought you were. Yesterday it was the bike repair. Other days it's coping with your children being adults. And other days it's hearing about a good friend who's dad has died. And realizing once again that this 49 year old age does bring some pretty nasty side effects. All I can do is find the sweet fringe benefits in this age...and try to be prepared for the nasties when they come. And when that preparation fails, I have family and friends that are more than willing to answer my "call of shame" if needed. (Call of Shame)
I'm glad I'm not an only child. I'm #6 out of 7. My "role" in the family has typically been the spoiled baby girl. I think my siblings think of me differently now after this experience. My folks came to stay with me not because I'm 49, but because of where I live. Not because I only have one child left at home, but because it's only 700 feet above sea level. Growing up and being a "contributor" to the family is my Sweet Fringe Benefit today. (Complicated Emotions)
I'm talking myself in to this sfb tonight. But I'm reminding myself that there have been many days and weeks like this in my 49 years. And I have survived them. Pipes thaw. Batteries are "jumped" and replaced. New plans are made. Children feel better. Building on my confidence of past experience, I can do this. (Any other good news?)
Today the Sweet Fringe Benefit of age 49 is my 14 year old daughter. She is real-life, refreshing, comforting and grounding to me. Caboose children have a tough lot. Their siblings leave them to reside alone with their parents. They don't have siblings around to attend all their games and concerts like they were dragged to. They don't have anyone to commiserate with about how unfair and irritating parents are. They go on vacations with "old people". And they become the absolute adoration and life of their parents. (The Caboose)
I am feeling more rational already. I am feeling more gratitude in this moment for the life that I am living.
Today's Sweet Fringe Benefit has several components...and it took reviewing many blog posts to get to it. I don't want my daughter to be an adult yet, I want her to be under my roof being a teenager, with everything that that involves. I have a close girlfriend that received somewhat of a "text of shame" to rescue me from my emotional despair. Not that reaching out for help is shameful...just keeping it in line with my biking analogy from my blog post a couple weeks ago. I LOVE having a compassionate adult son that reaches out to his Momma when he knows she's having a bad day. And, I know that LIFE HAPPENS. Some days are just junky...and if those days happen when hormone levels are elevated, then watch out. But, I can do this.
I'm heading to bed feeling more reassured that I'm okay. I'm not crazy. There are Sweet Fringe Benefits that can even overrule a hormonal, irrational, and emotional 49 year old. (Although I still didn't make dinner tonight...unless you count peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fresh pineapple a meal.)
Nanette
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What is the best Sweet Fringe Benefit of your age?